I didn't have any money since I was just out of college, but with my panic attacks, I also couldn't get a job that I had to "commit" to any amount of time because I needed flexibility for myself mentally. All that to say, I gently reached out for low cost help from the medical profession about panic attacks. My experience was that they handed me a pamphlet on panic attacks.

This action would have made me laugh if I hadn't been so steeped in panic because I lived that pamphlet every day. In fact, I could have written out that pamphlet for them citing each and every way the body reacts when it is undergoing a surge of negative adrenaline rushing

through the body, also known as a panic attack. I intimately knew each step of what they described, but the solutions of "understand I wasn't dying", "take deep breaths", and "lay down" until it passed didn't do anything for me to make them stop. I wanted to overcome panic attacks once and for all, not learn how to cope with them. I wanted them GONE!

It was at this point that the Lord spoke to me in my heart in a quiet time I was having with Him. I had asked Him if He would heal me. He answered that He would heal me, but it was going to take time and I was going to have to let Him unteach me some of the religion I was taught as a child/teenager. I was so miserable, I told God that He could completely redo my relationship with Him if that is what it took. Anything to gain back my mental health.

This encounter initiated a journey that has led to way more than recovering from panic attacks (which I have done, by the way. Oh satan will still try every once in a while to hit me with the old thoughts that led to each and every panic attack, but I have faced and dealt with each and every root, lie, and trigger that all the years before I was 23 led up to.) Bringing the Truth to each and every one of those areas has radically changed my life. That decision to allow God to teach me what His definition of being a follower of Jesus meant, has changed everything. Not only did He teach me about why I was having panic attacks and how to get over them, but He began to work in every area of my life to free me. I saw just how intertwined my panic had become and how many different situations and beliefs fed into it. This journey freed me in more areas than I would have time to share here in entirety.

No longer am I dominated by people pleasing and living out the doormat person I was raised to be. No more am I dominated by fear and anxiety. No more do I ignore my own needs while I chase after helping everyone else's even when they make little progress forward. No more does my Christianity look weak and powerless.

I have a life that I love and a huge passion to help my fellow Brothers and Sisters in Christ to embark upon the same journey to eventually live out exactly who they were created to be in a life of freedom.